Author David Kowalski Reveals his Hitchhikers Guide to Time Travel

David Kowalski, author of  The Company of the Dead, released today exclusively gives us some handy hints about that tricky beast called  time travel.

In Michael Moorcock’s Behold the Man, Karl Glogauer goes back to ancient Nazareth in order to meet the historical Jesus, and ends up on the cross.

Rule number 1: Bring a towel, by all means, but don’t get out of the time machine.

In Terminator 2, it is the T-100’s preserved forearm, from the previous terminator’s attack on Sarah Connor that leads to the revolution in robotics and culminates in the fall of man.

Rule number 2: DON’T get out of the time machine.

In Back to the Future, Marty McFly intervenes in his parents’ first meeting, preventing them from falling in love, and placing his own existence in danger.

Rule number 3: DON’T GET OUT OF THE FRIGGIN TIME MACHINE!

Professor Wiki states that in the ancient Mahabharatha King Revait travels to a different world to meet the creator, Brahma. When he returns to Earth, he is shocked to learn that many ages have passed. And in the Talmud, a dude called HaM’agel pulls a proto-Rip Van Winkle and sleeps for seventy years, waking in a world where his grandchildren were grandparents and where all his friends and family are dead.

Go back further and there is always someone, holding a lamp in his hand, telling the Genie, “for my last wish I want three more…”

And that is the heart of the matter. We often wish we’d said or done something else, something better. A time machine offers a chance back in the room after L’esprit d’escalier. A chance at making the right comeback, or more significantly, the right decision. Well that is certainly the temptation.

But Gentle time traveller, if a Delorian pulls up to the kerb, just keep on walking. If you encounter a man in a blue police box, with or without a fez. Run. And Worm Holes? They are just a one way trip to disaster.

Strong evidence based research suggests that Time travel is largely a spectator sport. By all means, feel free to cheer on your team. Go Spartans Go! But do it real softly. I strongly recommend restraining yourself from actually handing Leonidas an AK-47. Don’t tell the Trojans to keep that horse outside, and don’t hand anyone a pair of binoculars on the Titanic’s deck.

If fiction tells us anything on the subject, it won’t end well.

David Kowalski’s The Company of the Dead is out now at a RRP of £8.99 from Titan Books.

Can one man save the Titanic?

March 1912. A mysterious man appears aboard the Titanic on its doomed voyage. His mission? To save the ship.
The result? A world where the United States never entered World War I, thus launching the secret history of the 20th Century.

April 2012. Joseph Kennedy – grand-nephew of John F. Kennedy – lives in an America occupied in the East by Greater Germany and on the West Coast by Imperial Japan. He is one of six people who can restore history to its rightful order — even though it would mean his own death.

Source: Titan Books


More from the world of Geek Syndicate

%d bloggers like this: