Irritating Archery #3 – Spelunking Deep in the Sahr Chasm

I’m sorry.  There is nothing here. I had nothing.  I had a rant all ready to get started when I realized something.  That’s not what I want to do all the time.  Yes, I’m a ranting loon.  I’m a sarcastic douche bag and I’m completely insane.  But one thing I do know is that I absolutely love the geekier mediums.  But when I finished writing the column for this week I just couldn’t do it.  It was too negative.  Too angry.  While it was something I do consider annoying it’s not something I look at as being reflective of what I actually want to do with this column.  Do I want to rant sometimes?  Hell yes!  But the level of negativity in this weeks drew me to a conclusion.  As much as people on the internet annoy me, if I spend 3 pages ranting about it, what makes me different?  How am I any different than the guy who calls me a sycophantic Grant Morrison apologist because I like Final Crisis when he didn’t?  How am I different than the guy who yells about how I hate Barry Allen because I’m not wetting my pants with glee over his return?  What makes me any different than what I was going to spend my time ranting about?  I mean other than wit, charm, and sanity, what makes me different?  If I want to go on about how people should learn to respect the opinions others, doesn’t that make me just like them?

No, not really.  But the point still stands.  Why should I spend pages acknowledging people who while not trolls per say, aren’t much better?  Should I go on and on about how I wonder why people obsess over characters so much they scream and yell every time a story isn’t perfectly suited to their tastes?  Should I rant about the people who can’t separate people from the work?  What makes me suited to go on about the people who would rather say that (insert creator name here) is a/an (insert strong insult here) rather than actually criticize the work?  Don’t they do that job for me?  I just don’t see why I should waste my time and energy taking on people with no knowledge that there is a line.  It’s a pretty line. It sparkles like vampires in the sunlight.  Because everyone knows vampires sparkle in the sun.  If they want to jump across that glitter line what business is is of mine?

When I think about it it’s just not worth taking on.  It’s a project too daunting.  Taking on the gaping black hole that is the extremest element of  internet fandom.  I don’t have the energy or the will to do it.  It’s… it’s… impossible.

Something so impossible that to successfully accomplish this would tear a hole in reality the size of Belgium.  It’s something I don’t have the skill to take on.  I just don’t.  I’m not the Doctor, my sarcasm and wit can only take me so far.  And I’m afraid I’ve run out.

Holy hell, I think it’s time I recharged the batteries on my Sarcasmatron.  I’ve run out.

Geek out of the Week – Comics – Locke & Key : Head Games #2

Oh that was pure brilliance.  The stuff of legends.  This book continues to do what it does every issue.  Be somehow beautiful, touching, and oh so frightening.  I’ve loved it since it first started coming out and this issue was no exception.  Why is it that Bode always finds the awesome keys.  This issue I guess you could say he opened the pathways to the mind.  A beautiful thing that ends the issue with a smile after what is very much a bit of a downer.  This is a family that faced tragedy and came out stronger and it’s all happening again.  Buy this book.  It’s absolutely brilliant.

Geek out of the Week Gaming Comics – Young Liars #11

I didn’t have time to play games this week and thus…  I take advantage of that to bring in another comic.  I’ll do that from time to time because sometimes I get in a reorder or I just had no games that were really worth mentioning and I just got this baby on re-order.  This issue is made of crazy.  If I took the labyrinthine maze of random that is my mind and smushed it onto a page it wouldn’t be as insane as this.  My mind is completely lost after reading it and I couldn’t be happier.  It’s seriously broken my ability for rational thinking.  My mind is a flood, broken because I read this issue.  This issue of a book that is so out there it defies any and all logical parameters you could place on it.  If I had to grade this issue it out be a 5 our of 5 with 5 out of 5 dry slaps for snapping my brain in twain.  Have I mentioned that it’s completely insane yet?   Because it warrants a couple more mentions.  I don’t now what is going on in Laphams brain but it is so far out there I can feel my brain melting to it’s mighty powers of crazy every time I turn the page.

Next Week in Geek

Street Fighter IV

Do I really have to say anything?

GTAIV – The Lost and the Damned Expansion DLC

This is how DLC should be done.  Not just new content but what looks to be a whole new game.  Can’t wait to try it out and hop it lives up to the hype.

DMZ #39

I love this book.  Every issue has been absolutely gripping and it has me waiting impatiently month to month.  I could never wait for trade with this book.  It’s far too good and if you aren’t buying it.  Do so now.  The Free States and The US agree on that.

Young Liars #12

More brain melting insanity than you can shake a banana at.  Read the book.  Join the fight against the spiders from mars.  Prepare to have your mind explode.  Because insanity this good needs to be read.

Vixen Return of The Lion #5

If you never checked this book out you missed out on a surprise.  It’s absolutely beautiful.  Very well written character piece with stunning art.  It’s definitely my surprise book of the last year.  If you haven’t hopped on board get some back issues or get the trade because it’s a stunning book that shouldn’t have been missed.

That’s it.  I’m done.  Quick one this week, but join me next week when I make up for it by actually writing about something that doesn’t annoy me.  Something I love.  Something I really enjoy.  I’m not all negative.  I’ll be talking about my general love of all things Mike Grell and then delve into more detail of what I love about the hobbies that spawned the insane hell beast that is me.

More from the world of Geek Syndicate


  1. roguespirit /

    Vixen was on my radar. Can’t wait for the trade. Loved the first Locke and Key trade so it’s good to hear it’s keeping up the quality and you’ve made me wanna check out something I had no interest in with Young Liars

  2. Young Liars is fantastic. although it’s also one of the wierdest most insane acid trips I’ve ever takes. it’s so crazy it’s brilliant. It Out Grant Morrisons Grant Morrison. but my god it’s beautifully brilliant at the same time. It manages to be gritty, crazy, and amazingly fun. That’s what it is. pure fun. Plus it really needs the support. jump on and have fun. it’s so out there it’s grand

    and yeah. vixen is a definite buy. finished it up and it was fantastic. well worth it.

    and yes….locke & Key is a book I love and this volume is just as good as the last. although the covers have ben amazingly brilliant homages.

%d bloggers like this: