Merlin Series 2, Episode 6: Beauty and the Beast Part 2

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Thar not be dragons, thar be spoilers. Which won’t eat you with ketchup, but might blow your mind.

In a land of myth… blah blah blah. Let’s get to it. Which will not happen just yet, seeing as this is a two-parter and they must have a “previously on Merlin” recap. And on we go! …After the titles.

Why hello, Katrina. Jonas. You brush that fake hair, Katrina. Brush it, girl. Enter Uther. And awkward affection-showering. Katrina’s completely grossed out because she’s not Katrina, but really. Does she need to be trying this hard when Uther’s so cracked up under her power? Great, now she’s getting rid of Merlin. Or trying to. Doesn’t she realize he’s as resilient as a cockroach? Clearly not, because she thinks an accusation of theft will rid her of him. Not so smart, this one.

Am I the only one laughing when Arthur plays police chief? ‘Cause when he’s tromping around looking for baddies, it’s like he’s a real person with a real job. Except should someone so young really be chief of police? To quote Jillian Murphy, “the obligatory prodding of the hay bales.” Aw, hello, Sir Leon. You’re looking mighty fine this morning. And taking over some of Arthur’s arresting duties, I see. Except Merlin isn’t home just now. Too bad.

Arthur? I love that you’re helping Merlin to escape, but it’s still a little weird that you’re taking the initiative to help Merlin hide. Usually these “illegal” acts are instigated by others. Often Merlin. Though you’re lying skills are leaving something to be desired. What happened to the great lying Arthur that was implied in 1×07? Still, they can’t prove he’s lying, so we’re good.

Undermining Arthur. Great plan, Katrina. Though I admit that it seems an already half-done feat to get Uther to detest the sight of Arthur. Their relationship is a bit bipolar in that one minute Uther seems to love his son with no bounds and the next he can’t seem to look at Arthur. But what do I know? A treat? Oh dear. There’s clapping! And… eye covering? How old (young?) is this troll? Props to Sarah Parish though. Fresh from the stables? Oh gross. The only thing making that anywhere near okay is that it’s probably made out of chocolate in real life, but man, is that not cool.

Rather obvious hints of Merlin, don’t you think? They’ve found Merlin’s trail. Right. Gwen, if Giaus is this not-concerned, you need not be either. Though in your panic you’re like not to recognize that. Oo! I love Merlin-in-a-barrel! That’s fantastic! He sure scrunches down small, don’t he?

Convenient window for spying. That wasn’t there before, was it? Hehe. Troll hissy fit. Sarah Parish really ought not claw off her own face. And power and money is enough to make her stop for now, I guess. Hmm. Well, back to being disgustingly clean and pretty.

Oh great. A meeting between King and Chief of Police. New taxes? What is this? Nottingham? That troll is so not cool. Uther might have been a closed-minded fool before, but on troll!crack, he’s nigh insufferable. He may not do things we like, but at least he always did what he thought right for his people. On troll!crack, he’s just stuffing his coffers. Not. Cool.

Is it just me or is Merlin getting better at spying? He’s still loud, unsubtle, and terrible at lying when he gets caught, but he somehow seems to be getting better. Good idea! Steal the potion! Replicating a useless potion? Hmm, interesting concept. Long nights are common for scientists, aren’t they?

Oh dear. Uther’s waiting for Katrina. She’s still unsubtly trying to deter him. This is sorta making me squirm a little. Kids watch this? Whoa. Bad breath saved us from super awkward. Never thought I’d be thankful for that.

Whoa. Nasty list of ingredients. “And what potion isn’t complete without a dash of sheep’s brain?” Great reaction, though. I’d feel sorry for him if I wasn’t laughing so hard. “I can’t even believe you let me put that in my mouth!” After you tasted the first one, how could you even bring yourself to do it again? And why didn’t you try it, Gaius? I guess that’s what lackeys are for, right? How can you tell if something that tastes that bad tastes the same anyway? There’s usually less flavor and more ‘bad’. The flavor IS bad. Or in Merlin’s words, “horrible.”

More loud, unsteady, sneaky Merlin. Shut the cupboard door, you dork. Too late. Hiding in the armoire really works then? I like the little touch of Jonas crouching all the time. Yes, Merlin, magic the door shut while Jonas is just bumming around. Fantastic idea. You could at least wait until he’s distracted doing… erm, Jonas-y things.

What is with the knights torturing an old man? Clearly Arthur agrees that they’re seriously not jiving with how we picture our lovely knights in shining armor. You uphold good, you don’t kick puppies. I like this giving back we’re talking about. More pro-active Arthur! And Gwen saw. I’m sure Arthur’d get a kick outta that if he knew. Though I admit to being glad he doesn’t do it just because she’s watching. Aww. And the people are happy.

Oh dear. Arthur’s gotta justify it to Daddy now. Which would go over better if Daddy wasn’t on crack. Ah, the oft-debated debate of subjects vs. friends is now addressed. I was wondering when we’d get around to that. Uther says one or the other, Arthur says both. Is there any surprise there? Daddy lays down law. Arthur sticks to his guns. (Go Arthur! I say a celebration party is in order here!) Stop whining, Uther, it’s unbecoming. Which Katrina agrees with apparently, seeing her Terminator grip on his shoulders. Ow. And of course, being a tough guy on love!crack, he’s denying any and all pain. I still can’t figure out why she’s playing the part when she’s got Uther wrapped around her magical little finger? It’s probably better for his health that he extracted himself from her monster grip. Blatant manipulation and… yup. She’s got her kingdom, in promise, if not yet legally. Once more, we’re saved by the Breath of Doom.

Merlin, you really must get out of that armoire. But hey! It’s potion time! Oh dear. To find Merlin or not to find Merlin, that is the question. Or to look in the mirror I guess. Wait, she’s not concerned about pretty until it sparkles. THEN she wants pretty? Color me confused. I don’t understand trolls at all. But Merlin’s out so we’re good.

Hello, Gwen. Awww. This chat’s sweet. Whoop. Yes, Gwen. Undo that brainwashing Uther’s done to Arthur. (Not that he doesn’t have a valid point, but Arthur was an unbelievably awesome king by all accounts, not just a ‘good’ one.) Eep. Well, let’s hope Sir Leon isn’t fond of spreading rumors or this could look inappropriate.

Announcement time, methinks. Methinks correctly. Disinherited? That seems extreme. Yay! Gaius spoke up. Arthur’s taking this surprisingly well. The knights are here, and a few nobles, but how is it that Morgana missed this meeting? Random noticement. Sir Leon leading the reluctant clapping. Somehow that seems appropriate.

Bad news, Merlin. She may have drunk it, but that doesn’t stop Katrina from stealing the throne, crown, kingdom, and everything else when Uther dies. IF! I mean if Uther dies.

Ceremonies. Two in as many episodes. I’m not sure how I feel about this. There’s Morgana. And she’s all concerned about Arthur. Who’s sort of pouting. Whoa. Wacky collar there Katrina. Mmm. Bit itchy there, are we? Gaius’ “I’m not giggling” face. Troll lady’s getting twitchy. Is the librarian guy just sorta Mr. Everything? Jack of all trades or some such? How is he qualified for all this? Uther sees nothing wrong. Morgana and Arthur are somewhat startled. Look at all the non-giggles! Merlin and Gaius are having fun with this. Morgana: “Run away!”

You can’t hide, Katrina! Lol. Great guard point. Morgana just needed to follow? Great fun. Nice trick with the doors, Merlin. Hot? As in hot flashes? Bit young for that, are we? Lock was better than the door, dear Merlin. Even though he doesn’t much care for her, Arthur’s still gonna get the door for her. He really is turning into a great guy. Though that arm would be enough to make anyone jump back. Surprise! Yes, totally try to explain that arm, Katrina. She sounds like a chicken when she’s changing. That’s … weird. Arthur and Morgana now know Uther’s on crack. At least we have some back-up now. Though Uther still thinks she’s pretty pretty princess. “A giant, grey…” “Stinking!” “..stinking troll!”

Oh dear. This is even worse than before. Uther’s still all lovesick. And she’s all troll-like. How did Anthony and Sarah keep a straight face while playing these scenes? Oh, awkward. This is terrible. Children, shield your eyes!

Empty room. Groups of people. Low bows. I see an intervention. How do you tactfully try to tell your boss his wife is a troll when he absolutely cannot see it? Point out several very important things (tactfully, of course): 1. Warts. 2. The nose. 3. The smell. (Thanks Leon!) 4. Her fangs/tusks. (This last one is done best with a bit of laughter. And Uther still hasn’t a clue. Let’s just behead all who so much as blink at Katrina.

Great. Troll enchantment. And we can’t break it. Fantastic. Which means we need to go talk to Jerry Springer, erm, I mean the Dragon. I was really hoping we could avoid this guy more often. Great. Dragons and trolls were once allies. Not exactly in our favor.

She’s being SERVED rotten food? He’s modifying things for her. That’s just disgusting.

Jerry’s havin’ a laugh. Is it terrible that I want to giggle with him a little? Merlin is right. We need to get down to brass tacks. Uther? Tears of true remorse? Are you sure there’s no other way to break the spell? It’s never easy to come off drugs, though. Oh dear. We still have that bargain to fulfill, don’t we?

Ew. That dinner must have been fantastically disgusting. The knights look like they’re trying not to hurl. I think Jonas has fleas. Leon’s speaking up against the taxes? Kid’s got guts. Though perhaps not the stomach for troll-lady’s dinner. Jonas, that’s creepy. Don’t sniff the knights. Didn’t we have a fight with Bayard some time ago? Sir Leon, how are you still so tactful?

Time for a new plan guys. Get those brains working. So we’re gonna kill Arthur. Sounds like a less than fantastic idea. Creepy lurking-under-the-bed night-whispers to Arthur, a la Dragon-to-Merlin. Merlin, you’ve been looking sorta pervy the last few episodes here. It’s a good thing you weren’t there the entire time. Why is Merlin never allowed to say “I told you so”? He sorta deserves it. How to Kill Arthur Without Actually Killing Him. Let’s explain this plan most thoroughly to Arthur, who’s doing the dying. Except where Merlin leaves out the important bits. No wonder Merlin’s room is a mess if his idea is cleaning is dumping a pile of stuff behind a trunk. And of course there’s a time limit on that antidote thing. Great trip up, Gaius. Tip, if you want someone to drink the stuff, stick to ‘potion’, not ‘poison’. Though I’d caution others to just not drink it period. Gaius, can you make ANYTHING that tastes good? Timber! And down goes Arthur. Merlin, don’t forget what he said. No being late. What happened to Uther seeing Arthur die? This is just seeing him dead. Although this way is simpler.

Merlin is, of course, knocked out and the vial of the antidote is, of course, smashed. The good news is this is Merlin and not Robin Hood and therefore, Arthur probably won’t die.

Hi, Uther. Your son is dead. Can you cry for us now?

Ow. Yeah, that’ll be a headache, Merlin. Now fix the lacking-antidote problem.

Yes, Uther. You’re sad. Now CRY! It’s for your own good, I swear.

Mopping it up with your neckerchief, really?

Uh-oh. Panicking trolls get a tad frantic. But the spell is broken! And she’s having an external meltdown while he’s trying not to lose his lunch. I sympathize, man. She’s taking the guards quite easily. Good thing it conveniently only took a drop of antidote to save your life, Arthur. And it’s a good thing you sprang back so quickly. Shouldn’t you be feeling hung over or some other after-effect? Though I guess it’s more dramatic if you save the day. Ugh. Nasty death doesn’t even… I’m not going there.

Awkward family dinner. Uther, how regularly do you lose your lunch these days? Arthur, how are you getting away with teasing Uther like that? Well, it ended well. In laughter, anyway.

Hehe. I love these two. Banter is great. Almost-hugs are even funnier. Okay, I’m on the floor right now. HILARIOUS! Oh, great ending.

All in all, the awkward for part two was more awkward than the awkward of part one, but the funny was funnier and there was more character depth so somehow it was all justified. Overall, I quite liked it.

GS Reporter: pfennig

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2 comments

  1. Marion /

    The troll loving by Uther was HILARIOUS!

    As was the almost-hug <3

  2. Annie /

    You think it was ‘hilarious’???? I think this truly disturbing image of an Uther/Troll love scene has traumatized me. I think he actually slept with the troll O__O

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