“CATCHING UP” #7 – Twilight

Twilight (2008)

Catherine Hardwicke

Wait, whoa! Hold up! Put down the pointy things! I can explain!
You see, I’m a firm believer in knowing something before you make fun of it, and like most of the Internet, I’ve made my fair share of jokes about “Twilight”. It’s time I took one for the proverbial team and manned up.
Needless to say, I won’t be doing this sober. I don’t mean to come off as some sort of alcoholic. It just so happens that I’ve picked two movies in a row where there seems to be an epic need to dull one’s senses before watching them. That said, I’m going into this monstrosity with a good buzz, in hopes that I won’t want to stab myself.

AFTER THE FACT (may contain spoilers):
(WARNING: Any spelling or grammatical errors occurring in this section are to be blamed on the intoxicants.)

There was a wind machine. Oh. Christ. A wind machine. Bella walks into the classroom right in front of a wind machine. It is March, according to the movie, and set in the state of Washington. “Maybe the heat’s broken?” But in asking that question, I realized that I am thinking WAY too hard about this movie.
Then I laughed. I laughed really fucking hard. This movie exceeds all my expectations, in that it moves beyond “bad” into just plain “re-goddamn-donkulous”. The smoldering, steamy glances; the fog machines; the cheesy dialogue.
But that’s not the least of it! It ascends to all new levels of over-dramatic.
The best part about seeing this movie, though? I didn’t pay a goddamn dime to see it (thank you, OnDemand). Free laughs. If a copy somehow finds it in your DVD player (or it’s still free OnDemand), grab a few brews, get tanked, and laugh.

More from the world of Geek Syndicate

%d bloggers like this: